It’s true. It has been for a long time. I think it was always the fact that cooking takes a lot of time and effort and I was always too impatient when it comes to eating. To me, getting a meal into my body shouldn’t have to take that long. I do cook a little but, but it’s mostly easy stuff.

I remember helping my mom and grandmom cook a few times when I was little and I enjoyed it. I think it was mostly treats like cookies and cake from scratch though, but even then I remember thinking, “This should be done, like yesterday.”

My grandmom on my dad’s side always criticized the fact that I didn’t cook at home. I love my grandmom, but she is old fashioned in her ways. When I was young, she noticed how disinterested I became when she asked me and my sister to help her make dinner. Finally I flat out told her I just didn’t care for cooking. She told me about how no man would want to marry a woman who doesn’t cook. That pissed me right off. I thought to myself how ridiculous that was and that if a man doesn’t like me because I’m not Betty Crocker then that is no man for me. She gave me that line, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I remember one thing she said very specifically, “If you’re not going to cook when you had better find yourself a rich man who can afford to take you out to eat all the time.” I was no older than 10 when this discussion happened and even then, before I even knew what feminism was, I remember thinking how silly this logic is, that either I cook for my future husband or he’d better be rich so he can take me out to eat, never mentioning that he might lend a hand in the kitchen as if it wasn’t an option.

I told my mom what my grandmom said about marrying a rich man, and she said, “Hm, well tell your grandmom that won’t be necessary.” Then she told me to tell her, “No grandmom, I’m the one who’s going to be rich and a man will marry ME.” I loved that. I knew I would never be the woman whose husband comes home and asks “What’s for dinner?”

To be honest though, I think the pressure from my grandmom and the notion that a woman’s value depends so largely on how well she serves him a good meal is what really turned me off about it.

Now, Carrie Bradshaw uses her oven for storage. I use mine more than that. Like I said before, I do cook somewhat but it’s things that can be baked or made easily and fast: Ready Bake kits, tacos, steak and hamburgers on the George Foreman. I eat a lot of frozen meals and pizza. I also eat out quite a bit. I am perfectly happy with this. I do not expect anyone to cook for me. My ideal situation would be, if I had to cook that my husband would be helping me. When I lived with an ex-boyfriend, we both cooked meals together sometimes.  I have to admit that was enjoyable, probably for the spending time together and  doing something productive aspect of it.

I do think that one day when I decide to have children, I want to put a little more effort into cooking good meals for them. I want them to eat healthy and I don’t want them to live on the kind of stuff I eat while they are growing.

I really do admire those who take such a joy in cooking. I highly respect the people who put so much into a meal that people are going to take 20 minutes to eat. I watched the movie Julie and Julia, with Meryl Streep about the story of Julia Child, and it amazes me how much this woman loved to cook and how she devoted her life and career to it. Watching it made me hungry, and almost made me want to learn how to cook better, almost.

I know I will never be Julia Child, but maybe I will learn to find a little bit more enjoyment with it. Maybe I’m just not there yet.