We have all been curious about the male mind at some point, and we have all had suspicions about what guys could be holding back when it comes to what they really think about us and other things that we would want to know, or at least what we think we want to know. That’s why I decided to go into the minds of six groups of anonymous men to answer the question, “What are some things guys wish they could tell girls without looking like an asshole?” Although some of their responses may be a little unsettling to hear, they responded with the kind of honesty that most of us will never hear face to face.
On Women And Their Weight
“If you are overweight, take extra care of how you dress. There are certain things you can wear to flatter your form. Stay away from showing lots of skin.”
“Fat women always want to complain about how men should accept them. Sorry to burst your bubble but we can’t really help who we are attracted to, and most men just don’t find fat women attractive. It’s just not in our nature so stop demanding that we find you sexually appealing, it just won’t happen like that.”
“No, that dress doesn’t make you look fat. You look fat because you have gained weight. Please don’t let it get out of hand.”
Bottom Line: Guys find it attractive when girls appear to be healthy. We can probably agree that it’s good to take care of our health and our bodies. Don’t obsess over your weight, but do make an effort for fitness.
On Your General Appearance
“Sometimes we just want to compliment your body without you freaking out and calling us pigs. We’d like to be able to spontaneously say, “Nice boobs, ass, shape, etc.” What’s so wrong with that? It doesn’t mean we don’t also like your eyes, smile, or personality.”
“Your hair looks better long. Why did you cut it short? Grow it long again.”
“Okay, the outfit situation: I’m really easy to please in that regard, but then again most guys are. Leggings, yoga pants, short jean shorts, “skinny” jeans and tank tops, and short dresses are all good options… I think what guys hate is when their girl has a great body, she works out etc, and yet she dresses overly conservative.”
Bottom Line: Although looks aren’t everything, it does play a large role in attraction. Just remember that only you can decide for yourself what you are willing to compromise.
“If you want to be an exclusive couple, we have to hear it from you and you have to hear us agree. Otherwise, we are probably still talking to other girls and will do so for as long as we can until we are sure you are someone we want to commit to.”
“Yes, we play games. We know that love shouldn’t be a game, but it just is. There’s a good chance you wouldn’t like us as much if we didn’t practice some sort of game.”
“Sometimes we’ll judge you if you agree to sleep with us right away. We’ll start to wonder how many other guys you’ve been with, and the idea of lots of men before us is a turn off. It actually makes us like you more if you play a little hard to get.”
Bottom Line: Things aren’t always what they seem, but if you practice good communication with guys, you can determine whether or not the two of you are on the same page and then decide if it’s good to continue on with the relationship.
On Our Behavior
“When you ask, ‘Where have all the good guys gone?’ we can’t help but laugh. You can find them in the friend zone where you left them. Girls never want to sleep with the good guys anyway. They are too busy hanging all over the assholes that will never commit. Good guys see this and they stop being so nice to you, and get more action when they do.”
“Yes, I was checking out that other girl, and yes I denied it when you asked me if that’s what I was doing. There’s nothing wrong with looking as long as you don’t act on it. I’m sure other guys check you out and you might check out other guys now and then, and I’m okay with that.”
“Conversations between guys can get pretty vulgar when no ladies are present. We’ll get into the dirty details about things that would probably make you blush or shake your head in horror. It’s just what we do.”
Bottom Line: Guys will change their behavior when they think it will impress their guy friends, a girl, or get her to see him as a potential partner. A little shame can be detected here, but sometimes guys will dodge bullets just to avoid setting us off.
On Your Behavior
“It seems that most of the stuff you post on Facebook and other social media is just for attention. Is it really necessary to post selfies every other day? I guess it works in getting you the attention you want from thirsty guys and girls with self esteem issues, but to the rest of us you seem kind of desperate.”
“Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!”
“Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.”
Bottom Line: These are perfect examples of how men and women think differently. There’s something to learn in each of these quotes so try to take it as constructive criticism instead of offensive insults.
Truthful, candid, and straight to the point!
While you may not like or agree with what these guys have to say, we at least have to give them credit for being honest, even though they were asked anonymously. And if you are honest with yourself, you can probably understand why they would omit some of these thoughts to us girls –we would be pretty pissed if these things were straight up told to our faces. But they aren’t the only ones that have secret thoughts lingering in the dark.
[This is my piece originally published today on Unwritten.]