Women of today are often complaining about how they can’t find any good men to date or settle down with. Either the guy is a jerk, or lazy and unmotivated, or has some other major flaw that prevents him from being good boyfriend material. It’s understandable that these ladies are unsatisfied, but could there be other reasoning for this other than there just not being any good men left?
The other day, I came across a post by James Sama called The Simple Way To Get Men To Put In More Effort. He highlights a probable explanation of why men could be putting in less effort into building relationships with women.
If a man’s goal is to get a date with a woman or to build a relationship with her after a couple of dates have already happened, we are seeing a decline in society of how much effort he must actually put in.
Why? Because women are accepting less. And therefore men are putting in less effort. And if a woman is too “hard to get,” men are being trained to think that there will be another woman who doesn’t require as much effort, so he can just change his focus if he wants to.
In conversations, women will tell you they have pretty high standards. They’ll talk about how they want a man with good character, intelligence, someone that knows how to treat a lady, has a good job, etc. However, only a small percentage of them follow through with those standards. Many women end up taking whatever guy that shows interest and then once she realizes that he’s not her dream guy, she starts to think about ways she can encourage him to become what she has always wanted in a man.
If it seems like men aren’t putting in enough effort, it could be because they think they can get away with it, and a lot of times, they do… because women are letting it happen.
It’s time for women to start raising the bar. Instead of just saying they want good men, perhaps they could prove it by not getting involved with jerks, players, and bums that make little or no effort or don’t offer much else in a relationship. Just don’t give them the time of day or assume they are going to change. And of course women should hold high standards for themselves too and make sure what they are bringing to the table is relative to what they want from a man in a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to expect him to put in effort if she isn’t.
It’s time to think critically of our choices in relationships. Are you settling?