Be feminine or else you aren’t a real woman….or at least so suggests the quotes found over on Darling, a blog by a self described anti-feminist.
“Why do women want to dress like men when they’re fortunate enough to be women? Why lose femininity, which is one of our greatest charms? We get more accomplished by being charming than we would be flaunting around in pants and smoking. I’m very fond of men. I think they are wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don’t want to look like one. When women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error…”~Tasha Tudor
Did you hear that ladies? Skirts only! That is the only way women can be women and accomplish anything.
“It seems to be the fashion nowadays for a girl to behave as much like a man as possible. Well, I won’t! I’ll make the best of being a girl and be as nice a specimen as I can: sweet and modest, a dear, dainty thing with clothes smelling all sweet and violety, a soft voice, and pretty, womanly ways. Since I’m a girl, I prefer to be a real one!” ~ Mrs. George de Horne Vaizey
It’s a “fashion” for women to to behave like men? In other words, she’s accusing it of being a trend, as if masculine behaviors in women only exist because it’s cool, not because it’s how some women might actually feel more comfortable behaving like. Don’t question it, because as a supreme and delicate womanly specimen, her women’s intuition must be spot on.
Also, this lady needs to be corrected on something… Notice how she addresses men as “men” and women as “girls” 3 times in that quote. I have noticed this in a lot of anti-feminist language lately. It’s called infantilization: To treat or condescend to as if still a young child. It’s often the anti-feminist’s way of displaying superiority. She even refers to herself as a girl, even though she is a Mrs.
“Any woman who wishes to smash into the world of men isn’t very feminine.” ~Ida Lupino
“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” ~Coco Chanel
When did everyone get the idea that they get to decide what women should be like, behave like, and look like? We grow up being told that men have certain qualities, characteristics, interests, capabilities, etc and that women have a different set of qualities, characteristics, interests, capabilities, etc. They will say it’s biology, but don’t let them fool you. They want women to be very limited in this existence and they will shame anyone who doesn’t fit that very small space.
Here’s what. If these women want to be delicate, pretty smelling flowers, good for them. I have no problem with that. They are free to be and do as they please, but so is everyone else. As for myself, I often enjoy being what society constitutes as feminine but I also possess traits that aren’t so feminine and I also enjoy those, as does many, many other women, and that is ok.
Wearing pants does not go against genetic code.
Any woman with a vagina is a real woman, no matter how she acts.
And as for you Coco Chanel, a woman should only be one thing: whatever the hell she wants to be.
Well put! That’s how you write an article! Let me say I love women in any clothing, (preferably out too) ha ha just kidding!
Haha
Haha I am loving this. I think it’s hilarious how they argue about biological difference and how women shouldn’t disobey their biological tendencies when women are biologically intended to grow leg hair.
Oh I know. I could write a novel of their contradictions.
“Any woman with a vagina is a real woman, no matter how she acts.”
The only requirement for womanhood is simply being a woman. Whether someone has a vagina is irrelevant unless you think that trans* women who don’t get SRS aren’t real women.
That said, the gender policing in those quotes is absolutely absurd. It really shows how little anti-feminists understand feminists in general.
How would you define what it means to be a woman?
To be a woman is to identify as one. And by that I don’t mean merely claim that you are one. We trans* women are women simply because we inherently identify as female. And it’s inherent because none of us choose to be female.
If a naturally born Caucasian woman inherently identifies as another ethnicity, can she be considered that?
Yeah.. I’d say so. Adoptees, for example, may choose to identify based on their biology or on how they were raised, depending on which they inherently identify with.
Is it odd that when I saw this: We get more accomplished by being charming than we would be flaunting around in pants and smoking. I instantly thought of Marlene Dietrich? I’ll take her over Tasha Tudor any day.
It’s telling though, of how outdated her thinking is, that all of the women she chose to quote were born in the early 1900′s or earlier (Mrs George even pre-dates the American Civi War).
Great post though
Exactly, Ashley! Thanks for saying so.
Definitely agree with the last sentence! Whatever she wants to be!!!
Hmmmmmmmmm
All I can say is, those quotes are inoffensive to me. Let me offer a different interpretation. I’m not terribly girly myself (not too fabulous), but I DO see the tendency of many women to act like a man, literally. It’s not just about wanting comfortable clothes. If you listen, some will tell you, that they don’t like being a girl and think it’s disempowering and being a man is so much cooler. You can sometimes detect these women by a somewhat cold, overly strong attitude. Make no mistake, they are disempowered, but not because of being women. Of course, a lot of women who dress manly just like the style.
I personally find Coco’s quote “advicey” (like your granma, who tells you you should eat more, wear a scarf even when it’s warm and change others things she thinks you’re doing wrong), but it’s not hostile. She’s not saying your life’s meaning should revolve around looks. I really doubt she’s trying to keep women down. Rather, it sounds like she’s offering a way to gain a certain power. Looks, girlyness and femininity do give a power, as i found out after I gave them a try at age 19. If a woman hates her femininity, and throws away feminine power, in order to gain a male one, she will often have neither. I prefer to handle these things rationally: if there is extra power to be had, I’ll have it.
But a woman is defined as a born female. Trans people can identify as a woman all they want but they will never be able to call themselves a female as the way nature intended, which is someone that is born with female reproductive organs.
Since my original response seems to be permanently stuck in moderation, I’ll reiterate:
What of women who have had hysterectomies? Are they no longer women “as nature intended”? The presence of reproductive organs does not dictate womanhood.
If you identify as woman, you are a woman. Full stop.
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