I guess you could say I have always had a forgiving nature. Of course it upsets me when I get screwed over or disappointed by someone, but I have learned when to let things go.
I seem to have a hard time being around bitter, untrusting, or unforgiving people at times, especially when it comes to loved ones like family and/or close friends. The differences in attitude comes into play and I usually find myself shaking my head at such negative attitudes.
When they are let down by someone they become very upset and then seem to act like, “How can I get this person out of my life?”
When I am let down by someone important to me, I think, “How can I help this person?” or “How can I inspire them to correct their behavior?”
I tend to want to be a problem solver for them instead of just cutting someone out of my life. I would never cut someone important to me out of my life. The way I see it, most people who screw up just need help. Rarely have I ever said, “There is no hope for this person, I will not associate with them anymore.” There have only been a couple of people I have thought that way about and there were people I barely knew and people I know who would never mean anything to me. But when it deals with people who I have come to love and be loved by, I refuse to give up on them.
I look at the bitter people and shake my head. The ones who don’t trust anyone, the ones who won’t get close to someone, the ones who shun loved ones who have hurt them. This world is so full of them, the ones that have lost faith in everything. It’s a sad sight to see them limit their lives and let their negative feelings control so much of their day to day living, and I know they aren’t any happier for being bitter. I wonder if they are just trying to force themselves to believe that being bitter is the answer to being unaffected by shit that life throws at them? But it doesn’t really work. In fact, their grudge holding makes them feel even worse and they are making a choice to prolong it. They hide it and slap on a fake smile.
As I have said before, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. I want to help them too. I can only explain that to them, but I cannot understand it for them.
They are entitled to have their feelings, and I don’t say any of this as a way to say they shouldn’t feel how they feel. It’s their life and their choice to react to things how they want. And yes, some people just need more time and that is ok too. I supposed I should just let them be.
I have my own way of protecting myself. I am pretty cautious about a lot of things and I always try to make smart decisions about how something or someone could affect me, but I know I can’t make it perfect. I know sometimes you just have to fall, get hurt. It’s part of life.
I don’t know why, but I was given the strength to forgive. I was given the ability and passion for helping people. That inner strength wouldn’t allow me to be a bitter person with a foul attitude even if I decided I wanted to be. Maybe there’s a reason for it, so I will honor my abilities and continue to refuse to let resentment control my life.