I guess you could say I have always had a forgiving nature. Of course it upsets me when I get screwed over or disappointed by someone, but I have learned when to let things go.
I seem to have a hard time being around bitter, untrusting, or unforgiving people at times, especially when it comes to loved ones like family and/or close friends. The differences in attitude comes into play and I usually find myself shaking my head at such negative attitudes.
When they are let down by someone they become very upset and then seem to act like, “How can I get this person out of my life?”
When I am let down by someone important to me, I think, “How can I help this person?” or “How can I inspire them to correct their behavior?”
I tend to want to be a problem solver for them instead of just cutting someone out of my life. I would never cut someone important to me out of my life. The way I see it, most people who screw up just need help. Rarely have I ever said, “There is no hope for this person, I will not associate with them anymore.” There have only been a couple of people I have thought that way about and there were people I barely knew and people I know who would never mean anything to me. But when it deals with people who I have come to love and be loved by, I refuse to give up on them.
I look at the bitter people and shake my head. The ones who don’t trust anyone, the ones who won’t get close to someone, the ones who shun loved ones who have hurt them. This world is so full of them, the ones that have lost faith in everything. It’s a sad sight to see them limit their lives and let their negative feelings control so much of their day to day living, and I know they aren’t any happier for being bitter. I wonder if they are just trying to force themselves to believe that being bitter is the answer to being unaffected by shit that life throws at them? But it doesn’t really work. In fact, their grudge holding makes them feel even worse and they are making a choice to prolong it. They hide it and slap on a fake smile.
As I have said before, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. I want to help them too. I can only explain that to them, but I cannot understand it for them.
They are entitled to have their feelings, and I don’t say any of this as a way to say they shouldn’t feel how they feel. It’s their life and their choice to react to things how they want. And yes, some people just need more time and that is ok too. I supposed I should just let them be.
I have my own way of protecting myself. I am pretty cautious about a lot of things and I always try to make smart decisions about how something or someone could affect me, but I know I can’t make it perfect. I know sometimes you just have to fall, get hurt. It’s part of life.
I don’t know why, but I was given the strength to forgive. I was given the ability and passion for helping people. That inner strength wouldn’t allow me to be a bitter person with a foul attitude even if I decided I wanted to be. Maybe there’s a reason for it, so I will honor my abilities and continue to refuse to let resentment control my life.
Pingback: If I Can Do This So Can You
People who don’t trust other people and have major issues surrounding trust and often combined with other negativity has that rooted in their childhood. You clearly didnt get abused or sexually molested or else you wouldn’t be here saying all of this shit. You say you don’t understand why people are like the way you are and compare it to others who seem more negative? You may want to stop judging people and comparing yourself up against people like this. Just worry about yourself.
Listen I agree with your outlook on life and in fact feel a lot of how you say you are and apply that much to my OWN life. But this whole post here is mostly not about you, it’s about ur judgment of others.
Regarding what you said about “helping others” when you get fucked over? That’s about the craziest shit I ever heard. You’re going to have to truly get fucked over bad by someone who means a lot to you, and get totally blindsided with it, and be totally decelerated. In many ways you are contradicting yourself. You are saying you want to help people who turn on you and bring negativity in your life. Yet on the other hand you’re saying you have no time for negative people and harshely criticize them.
Were you serious with this right here:
“They are entitled to have their feelings, and I don’t say any of this as a way to say they shouldn’t feel how they feel”
You aren’t!? Then you sure had me fooled. Read what you wrote because quite the contrary that iS EXACTLY what you’re saying.
. “Its their life and their choice to react to things how they want”
Actually someone does not make a very concrete choice on how they react to things. If they got beat by their step father during their childhood with belts and whips, do you think they make the choice to get upset and negative when they see a similar belt on someone? Um, try no.
If you want a good example of the ability to make a decision it would more like you made the decision to write all this shit. You got on the computer and wrote it and published it. That was your decision. It was not my decision to react to it like I did. However it was my decision to read it which consequently LED to the reaction.
So to apply this to what you think going by what I just read, people don’t make conscience decisions to be negative and resentful around your happy go lucky little spirit. I’m pretty damn sure if they had a god damn choice they’d jump on your happy train right along with you. Use some common sense herr.
You really don’t know what I have been through and how I have gotten screwed over by people in life. To basically insinuate that I must not have been abused, used, or majorly screwed over because of my happier disposition is just ridiculous logic.
You are right about one thing, there is a certain level of judgment. Why? Because people who are untrusting, bitter, cold, and the people who cut family members out of their lives act like they aren’t affecting others, but they are. In a way, they are actually doing the screwing over. They go through extreme lengths to protect their heart that they simultaneously hurt many people around them with their nasty attitude and poor treatment of other loved ones that are just innocent bystanders. That’s why I wrote this post.
But it’s whatever. I’m not really going to try to change people that don’t want to change and no I am not going to tell them they can’t feel the way they do. I’m basically just making an observation.