The other day my guy and I went swimming in our friend’s pool. We often have our friend’s phone hooked up to speakers so we can listen to music and have a good time. We are floating about as we usually do and this song comes on the playlist, and the main lyric was something like, “Why do all the good girls like bad boys?” Ok so we had never heard this song before and it wasn’t our cup o’ tea anyway, but it was some kind of pop-punk band and it got our attention. So the guy sings, “Why do all the good girls like bad boys?” Right after we heard this line, my guy says, “They don’t. They just want to sleep with them.”
I paused in my head, taking in what he had just said, and it dawned on me seconds later that he was completely right. He’s very intelligent and observant about many things so it didn’t surprise me too much that this kind of assessment came from him. Not many men have a clue what women want or don’t want, and we can’t entirely blame them because, as they say, a lot of women don’t even know what women want.
The thing is, we can’t deny that there is a certain appeal to “bad boys,” but it is dominantly sexual. Many girls find themselves attracted to one at some time or another, and it will usually be temporary.
Something I have noticed too is that many men take the whole “nice guys finish last” and “girls like bad boys” thing way too seriously, and they start acting like complete pricks. Now at first, women might not seem to mind a guy with a list of bad habits, a dangerous side, or an attitude… and they might even find it sexually appealing, but that’s only because it sends off a signal to us that he’s fun and the sex is hot. It’s the truth and it’s the exact same reason why men find “bad girls” hot as well. But are these really the same people we want to marry?
These bad boys are called bad boys for a reason, and they most often make bad boyfriends. It’s just the way it is. Women do not really like bad guys, because as soon as reality sets in and he starts to direct his attitude towards her or she feels like she’s not valued by him, it will turn her off. Most women won’t put up with it once they realize that they aren’t excluded in the list of things and people the guys is bad to, and those “nice guys” that people seem to think are pathetic start to look better to them, unless she’s a doormat but that’s another post for another day.
Now I think it’s sometimes the case that certain women romanticize the idea that a bad boy will be a good boy just for her, but how often does this happen? Also women sometimes entertain the thought of taming the bad boy. They like the idea that they could take the troubled, rebellious, wild guy and turn him into the happy, gentlemanly, family man. And that’s not really about “changing the guy”, it’s about the feeling a woman gets when she realizes she was the reason he wanted to change and that she made him a better man and made him happy. It would be an awesome feeling to her. However, this rarely happens to the extreme that women dream about. In reality, this kind of relationship just doesn’t last. If you don’t believe me, think of Whitney Huston, Britney Spears, and Rihanna.
I’m not saying that women like clingy, kissy ass, overly agreeable men either because that backfires as fast as being a dismissive prick will be. Find a balance. A woman might be attracted to a bad boy at first but she will stay with the man who knows how to respect her, offer their own humble opinion when needed, and treat her as an equal partner in life.