Causes

All posts in the Causes category

Signs Of An Abusive Relationship

Published February 12, 2012 by Ashley Pariseau

The following questions ask you about your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, these are signs or “red flags” to assist people in identifying a potentially abusive person.

  • Do you feel nervous around your partner?
  • Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid your partner’s anger?
  • Do you feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex?
  • Are you scared of disagreeing with your partner?
  • Does your partner criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?
  • Is your partner always checking up on you or questioning you about what you do without your partner?
  • Does your partner repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people?
  • Does your partner tell you that if you changed, he or she wouldn’t treat you like this?
  • Does your partner’s jealousy stop you from seeing friends or family?
  • Does your partner make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate?
  • Has your partner ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?
  • Does your partner say, “I will kill myself if you break up with me” or “I will hurt/kill you if you break up with me”?
  • Does your partner make excuses for the abusive behavior? For example: saying, “It’s because of alcohol or drugs,” or “I can’t control my temper,” or “I was just joking”?

You do not deserve to be abused. Create a safety plan or call someone to talk about your relationship. You may also want to contact the police or a local domestic violence center or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE.

Source

Miss Indiana International 2012

Published October 8, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

I am pretty excited to announce that I was recently awarded the title of Miss Indiana International 2012!!! My director is the lovely Mary Richardson who is the creator and director of the Miss International Pageant based in the United States.

What this means for me is that I am going to be doing events and appearances around Indiana during my reign. My platform that I will be promoting during my year is Domestic Violence – Awareness & Prevention which as I have posted before, is an issue that I am passionate about and I am very excited to get to publicly advocate this cause. I will be posting more on that later.

I will also be representing Indiana in the Miss International Pageant that will take place in Chicago in July of 2012, and I want to place well so there is a lot of work to do between now and then because there are a lot of expenses, needs, and preparations to make for pageant week. I am supposed to receive a package of information including my contract in the mail by Monday and get a headshot for website. If you go to the national website that I link above, you can see photos and videos about the International system and what it is about. This particular pageant is more platform and community service based than it is a “beauty pageant” (I hate that term anyway). It is probably my favorite system that I have researched online so far so I am excited to be able to get to participate with them.

I will be blogging my experience as Miss Indiana and my preparations for Miss International on here frequently as well as my regular posts that I have been doing. A lot of the state queens so far have made their own separate blogs and facebook pages particularly for their title but I’m not sure I want to do that yet because I don’t want to have to update several blogs and facebook pages for every thing that goes on, but we’ll see how it goes.

I can’t wait to get started on this journey!

Competing for Miss International – Now Accepting Donations!

Published January 20, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

As some of you may already know, I was recently awarded the title of Miss Indiana International 2012, and I am currently preparing to compete in the Miss International pageant next summer. The dates are July 27th and 28th, 2012 at the Northshore Center for the Performing Arts in Chicago, Illinois. The total entry fee is $1,500 ($300 of which I already have covered) and that is due as soon as possible. Additionally, there is a list of personal expenses for wardrobe and other competition needs that I will be needing as well. I am willing to work to pay for some of these expenses on my own, but of course I will be accepting and appreciative of any help in the process.

I am looking for businesses, family and friends, readers of my blog, or any other kind individuals to help sponsor me with these costs. I am also looking for in-kind services like photos, hair, makeup, etc as well as wardrobe donations if you would like to do that instead of money. Some of you I will be approaching individually with more details on this journey but I may not be able to reach everyone who would be interested in making a donation, so I decided to make a post here.

Why am I competing?
This is a wonderful opportunity for me. Winning Miss International will provide me with the chance to make the most of my dreams and aspirations and to take important causes to an international level. It will help in opening many doors for me that I would not normally have. If I didn’t win, it would still give me a lot of experience in my own self development. Pursuing pageants has already given me a lot of confidence and motivation to think about my purpose in life and the kind of person I want to be. For anyone that knows me personally, they know that growing up I have always been pretty quiet, and I realized that I think that doing pageants like this will help bring out the voice in me that I have always had. I am already so excited about starting preparation. It’s a lot of work but I know it will be well worth it, especially if I bring home the crown!

What is my platform?
A “platform” is a pageant term that basically means a personal cause that you plan to support and advocate during your reign. The Miss International Pageant system gives us the opportunity to choose a cause of our own to support. Mine is Domestic Violence – Awareness and Prevention. I chose this platform because it is an issue that isn’t as widely talked about in the media and not many people know what to do when they or a loved one is affected, yet if affects so many more people than we realize. This is a cause that is very important to me and as Miss Indiana International, I will already be scheduling appearances and events for my cause throughout Indiana. If I won Miss International, I can do even more to support this cause.

There is also the Miss International’s official platform which all of us state title holders will support as well, which is Go Red For Women which is a campaign by the American Heart Association to raise awareness and education about heart disease in women.

Why should you sponsor? What’s in it for you?
For business, if you choose to accept this special request I believe my pageant experience could be of benefit to your business. There will be advertising of your business offered in the official pageant program book, in press releases, and also your business’s logo will be printed at the bottom of autographed photos. Another benefit to you upon your sponsorship would be a positive image and public awareness, as well as more exposure and probable sales to your business. I would also be happy to make any appearances or help with any events associated with your business as part of the exchange and of my gratitude. Other arrangements are negotiable.

Donating
If you would like to have more information about my competing, I have put together an official sponsorship proposal in a word document with all of the details for those of you who are interested. Just drop me a line and I can send that out to you.

If you choose to donate and wish to be compensated, I am willing to negotiate. You may wish to donate anonymously if you like. Any amount is much appreciated and helpful, even if just $5.

Donations can be made via paypal, check, or money order, although I recommend paypal since it is very easy for transactions. The donation button is below. If you are interested in helping me with my entry fee, or if you have any questions or concerns, email me at AshleyBPariseau@gmail.com or leave a comment below and I will get back to you as soon as possible!

Silent Cries

Published January 15, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

Broken homes and shattered hearts
Smiles to hide the sharpened parts

No one knows whats behind closed doors
The screams are unheard, in these violent wars

She puts on a smile, for people to view
Nobody knows what she has gone through

Her heart aches more with each passing day
But surely he’d kill her, if she’s to stray

Each tear that falls, from her glassy eyes
Is filled with grief, with terror, with lies

One day she’ll rise above it all
She will tell herself, she can stand tall

But that day,my friends, has yet to come
Her heart is scared, her body, numb

Life, for her, can be better then this
She will find it one day, and have true bliss

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Published October 5, 2010 by Ashley Pariseau

Saturday morning I participated in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer 5k walk around Ball State since October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The turn out for the event was good, although we did get rained on the entire time. At least it wasn’t too heavy. It took us about an hour to walk the whole thing. It was fun!

In honor of this occasion, I thought I would provide some information on how to do a self breast examination.

Breast Self Examination

1. Stand in front of a mirror with your hands by your sides. Examine your breasts closely, checking for lumps, changes in color or shape, rashes and scaling, dimpling or puckering, inverted nipples or nipple discharge.  

2. Raise both arms and place your hands on your hips, pressing your shoulders and elbows forward to flex your chest muscles. Look for any changes as noted above.
 
3. Lie down and raise one arm flat above your head. Using a flat palm and the balls of your three middle fingers on your other hand, feel around the breast and armpit on the side of the raised arm in a circular motion, feeling for any lumps or abnormalities.

4. Repeat the process with the other breast.   If you do feel a lump, don’t panic. Nine out of ten breast abnormalities turn out to be harmless. Visit your local doctor for more advice.

When feeling the breasts:  
Check the breast in two or three positions, such as lying down, standing up and even leaning forward.

Use the palm surface of the fingers, not the tips, to move the breast.

Divide the exam into parts. Examine one part from the outside of the breast into the nipple, and then from the inside to the outer edge.

Realize the breast tail goes into the armpit, so the exam needs to include that area.

Remember the nipple is important too. There is less breast tissue right under the nipple, so any lump there is a concern.

The value of checking for discharge from the nipple is a debate since regular, hard squeezing of the nipple alone can cause a discharge.

The gentle exam done towards your nipple is usually enough to show if there is a discharge. Any blood from the nipple needs to be evaluated by a doctor.

Remember, however, that this self examination is never meant as a substitute for a mammogram or regular examinations by your doctor. Be sure to keep your regular appointments to ensure all your health risks are kept at bay.

Dr. Phil: Ending The Silence

Published September 17, 2010 by Ashley Pariseau

Monday launched the 9th season of The Dr. Phil Show. According to the latest post on his official blog, this season will have emphasis on domestic violence.

“We’re beginning a powerful and very dramatic season-long campaign against domestic violence. Every 15 seconds, a woman is abused in this country. At some point, one out of four women will fall victim to domestic violence. Those are shameful statistics, and little about the situation seems to be improving. Today, domestic violence remains one of the most under-reported phenomena in American society. Well, that’s about to change.”

He goes on to explain that he will welcome a series of guests affected by spousal abuse to share their stories and he will be working with them help them triumph over their personal hardships caused by being abused, and that he will also be working with a team to raise awareness of domestic violence and what you can do if you find yourself in this situation. He also provides more information on this issue including a link to sign a pledge.

The topic hits close to home with me. I have never been abused by a partner myself, but I have had people close to me who have and I know what it’s like to be around partners who are being physically violent with each other. It not only has an impact on the two involved, but loved ones as well.  So needless to say that I am really glad that he is centering the season around this because it really is one of the most problematic issues, yet at the same time it isn’t very much talked about or covered in the news.

A Realization: My Story On Body Image

Published August 13, 2010 by Ashley Pariseau

I was recently honored to be a guest blogger on Happiness Is Within, a blog centered around finding peace with yourself and your body. Dana, the site’s author, features a special section called Love Your Body where she asks guests to contribute their own stories. She emailed me a couple weeks ago asking me to share mine, so I decided to make my debut post on my personal past struggles with body image. Here is the link to my article on her site, but I will go ahead and paste it below.

******

The Struggle
Body image is an issue that I feel passionately about. This may be because I have had my own share of struggles with my body. All my life, I have been very thin. Everyone in my immediate family is naturally thin, but I have always been the thinnest out of them. Ever since I can remember, I have heard comments from people about my weight. I knew I was pretty skinny but as a young child, it didn’t bother me much because I figured I would fill out more as a teenager and it wouldn’t be an issue. Well, I was wrong. It really started having an impact on me around age 14. This is when all the other girls in my grade had fully developed. They grew taller and had breasts and hips. I was so much smaller than them in every aspect. But it was my thinness that I was the most bothered by, and people didn’t let me forget how thin I really was. I was called every skinny name in the book. Toothpick. Puny. Stick figure. Olive Oil. That I looked like 10 year old prepubsecent boy, and so on. The names didn’t hurt me as much as the looks of disgust I received accompanied by questions like, “Omg! Do you eat?” and the rumors that flew around that I had an eating disorder.

The more comments that were thrown at me, the worse I felt about myself. I evaluated myself in the mirror and saw what they were all talking about. I was pretty bony and I hated what I saw, but I didn’t understand it because I was eating just as much as everyone else. In fact, I had quite a sweet tooth and I know I took in more calories than most people my age. So why did I look to everyone like I starved myself? It didn’t take long for me to become completely consumed by this. I felt so ugly. I would have given anything to just gain 10 pounds.

After I had let the comments of others go to my head, I started to throw on extra layers of clothes and anything baggy to hide how skinny I was. Wearing jackets and sweaters made it look like there was little more more weight on me. During this time, I tried to eat as much as I could, thinking I could gain some weight. But it was harder than I had expected. My metabolism would just not let me keep weight on and that frustrated me so much.

Taking Back Control
Later I came to a realization. Why do I need to try to change my body? I was perfectly healthy the way I was. Wasn’t that the most important thing? Yes. I knew it was. Then I suddenly remembered the positive comments from people that I had ignored before. I realized that this was the way my body was designed to be. Instead of denying it, I should be embracing it. I also came to notice how I didn’t feel bad about my body until I started hearing the negative comments. I was allowing their words to get inside my head, and I knew it was up to me and me only to block that out and regain the confidence I once had. Little by little, I did just that. It took a little time and lots of inner searching, but I pulled through. I started mentally listing things that I liked about my body and the way I looked. There were a lot of things I could name once I got all the negativity out of my mind. Before long, I could look in the mirror and love what I saw. I could go in public wearing a bikini and feel comfortable, not worrying about the thoughts of others. Let me tell you, that is a wonderful feeling.

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Feel free to leave your comments on either her site on right here. Also, I will be doing more guest posts there on this issue where I will share more stories and offer advice in the near future, so be looking out!

Freckles

Published August 11, 2010 by Ashley Pariseau

I used to care so much about what others think about
Almost didn’t have a thought of my own
The slightest remark would make me embark
On the journey of self doubt
But that was a while ago
This girl has got stronger
If I knew then what I know now
I would have told myself don’t worry any longer it’s OK

[Chorus:]
’cause a face without freckles is like a sky without stars
Why waste a second not loving who you are
Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable,
They show your personality inside your heart
Reflecting who you are

Who you are
Who you are
Who you are

I wondered if I could trade my body with somebody else in magazines
Would the whole world fall at my feet?
I felt unworthy and would blame my failures on the ugliness I could see
When the mirror looked at me
Sometimes I feel like the little girl who doesn’t belong in her own world
But I’m getting better
And I’m reminding myself

[Chorus]

Reflecting who you are
Reflecting who you are

Take Steps Walk 2010

Published June 1, 2010 by Ashley Pariseau

In honor of my friend Brian, I will be walking in the Take Steps for Crohn’s and Colitis Walk. The event is this coming Saturday, June 5th in Indianapolis. Take Steps is CCFA’s national evening walk and celebration and the nation’s largest event dedicated to finding cures for digestive diseases. It is a casual 2-3 mile stroll to raise money for crucial research, bringing us closer to a future free from Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. Over 1.4 million American adults and children are affected by these digestive diseases. While many suffer in silence, Take Steps brings together this community in a fun and energetic atmosphere, encouraging them to make noise and be heard.

Your donation will help support local patient programs, as well as important research projects. This cause is very important to my friend and I appreciate your help in my helping him as we fight for a cure. In addition to donating, you can join me at the event if you are in the Indianapolis area. There will be food, music and activities. The more money we raise, the closer we will be to making life more manageable for patients who live with these diseases every day.

Click here if you would like to make a donation. If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to email me at missash03@gmail.com

Any donations, no matter how small, are greatly appreciated!

Social Vibe

Published May 13, 2010 by Ashley Pariseau

I recently decided to register at Social Vibe. I have known about it forever and I’ve checked it out a couple of times, but have never bothered to sign up, until now. If you aren’t familiar, it is a social media tool that connects people with brands, empowering them to engage with sponsors and share branded content with their social graph to benefit a cause of their choice. Individuals make a positive, measurable impact for the charity of their choice just by completing branded activities. In just over a year’s time, over $700,000 for over forty different non-profits has been raised. The SocialVibe community seems to be most popular among celebrities and influential bloggers. It proves to be a great tool that allows people to use their influence to make a positive impact.

If you haven’t already noticed, I have added a badge on my right side column. I will soon be adding badges on my social network pages as well. The charity I chose is Children’s Miracle Network, which is an organization that raises funds and awareness for children’s hospitals and foundations throughout the world.My sponsor is Operation Smile.

The cool thing about the badge is that every time someone views a page I have with the badge on it, whether it be here on my website, my myspace, or anywhere else I post it, I earn points for myself on SocialVibe which can be redeemed for a variety of different perks and money for my charity. So just by visiting my site, my readers are helping me out and helping my charity. Readers can also additionally help out by clicking on my badge and it will take you to a page where you can complete a task that earns me points and money for Children’s Miracle Network. And it’s all completely free. How cool is that?

If this sounds like something you’d like to get into yourself, feel free to sign up and post the link to your profile in the comments and I’ll help you raise money for your cause as well.

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