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A Realization: My Story On Body Image

Aug13

I was recently honored to be a guest blogger on Happiness Is Within, a blog centered around finding peace with yourself and your body. Dana, the site’s author, features a special section called Love Your Body where she asks guests to contribute their own stories. She emailed me a couple weeks ago asking me to share mine, so I decided to make my debut post on my personal past struggles with body image. Here is the link to my article on her site, but I will go ahead and paste it below.

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The Struggle
Body image is an issue that I feel passionately about. This may be because I have had my own share of struggles with my body. All my life, I have been very thin. Everyone in my immediate family is naturally thin, but I have always been the thinnest out of them. Ever since I can remember, I have heard comments from people about my weight. I knew I was pretty skinny but as a young child, it didn’t bother me much because I figured I would fill out more as a teenager and it wouldn’t be an issue. Well, I was wrong. It really started having an impact on me around age 14. This is when all the other girls in my grade had fully developed. They grew taller and had breasts and hips. I was so much smaller than them in every aspect. But it was my thinness that I was the most bothered by, and people didn’t let me forget how thin I really was. I was called every skinny name in the book. Toothpick. Puny. Stick figure. Olive Oil. That I looked like 10 year old prepubsecent boy, and so on. The names didn’t hurt me as much as the looks of disgust I received accompanied by questions like, “Omg! Do you eat?” and the rumors that flew around that I had an eating disorder.

The more comments that were thrown at me, the worse I felt about myself. I evaluated myself in the mirror and saw what they were all talking about. I was pretty bony and I hated what I saw, but I didn’t understand it because I was eating just as much as everyone else. In fact, I had quite a sweet tooth and I know I took in more calories than most people my age. So why did I look to everyone like I starved myself? It didn’t take long for me to become completely consumed by this. I felt so ugly. I would have given anything to just gain 10 pounds.

After I had let the comments of others go to my head, I started to throw on extra layers of clothes and anything baggy to hide how skinny I was. Wearing jackets and sweaters made it look like there was little more more weight on me. During this time, I tried to eat as much as I could, thinking I could gain some weight. But it was harder than I had expected. My metabolism would just not let me keep weight on and that frustrated me so much.

Taking Back Control
Later I came to a realization. Why do I need to try to change my body? I was perfectly healthy the way I was. Wasn’t that the most important thing? Yes. I knew it was. Then I suddenly remembered the positive comments from people that I had ignored before. I realized that this was the way my body was designed to be. Instead of denying it, I should be embracing it. I also came to notice how I didn’t feel bad about my body until I started hearing the negative comments. I was allowing their words to get inside my head, and I knew it was up to me and me only to block that out and regain the confidence I once had. Little by little, I did just that. It took a little time and lots of inner searching, but I pulled through. I started mentally listing things that I liked about my body and the way I looked. There were a lot of things I could name once I got all the negativity out of my mind. Before long, I could look in the mirror and love what I saw. I could go in public wearing a bikini and feel comfortable, not worrying about the thoughts of others. Let me tell you, that is a wonderful feeling.

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Feel free to leave your comments on either her site on right here. Also, I will be doing more guest posts there on this issue where I will share more stories and offer advice in the near future, so be looking out!

Freckles

Aug11

I used to care so much about what others think about
Almost didn’t have a thought of my own
The slightest remark would make me embark
On the journey of self doubt
But that was a while ago
This girl has got stronger
If I knew then what I know now
I would have told myself don’t worry any longer it’s OK

[Chorus:]
’cause a face without freckles is like a sky without stars
Why waste a second not loving who you are
Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable,
They show your personality inside your heart
Reflecting who you are

Who you are
Who you are
Who you are

I wondered if I could trade my body with somebody else in magazines
Would the whole world fall at my feet?
I felt unworthy and would blame my failures on the ugliness I could see
When the mirror looked at me
Sometimes I feel like the little girl who doesn’t belong in her own world
But I’m getting better
And I’m reminding myself

[Chorus]

Reflecting who you are
Reflecting who you are

Take Steps Walk 2010

Jun1

In honor of my friend Brian, I will be walking in the Take Steps for Crohn’s and Colitis Walk. The event is this coming Saturday, June 5th in Indianapolis. Take Steps is CCFA’s national evening walk and celebration and the nation’s largest event dedicated to finding cures for digestive diseases. It is a casual 2-3 mile stroll to raise money for crucial research, bringing us closer to a future free from Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. Over 1.4 million American adults and children are affected by these digestive diseases. While many suffer in silence, Take Steps brings together this community in a fun and energetic atmosphere, encouraging them to make noise and be heard.

Your donation will help support local patient programs, as well as important research projects. This cause is very important to my friend and I appreciate your help in my helping him as we fight for a cure. In addition to donating, you can join me at the event if you are in the Indianapolis area. There will be food, music and activities. The more money we raise, the closer we will be to making life more manageable for patients who live with these diseases every day.

Click here if you would like to make a donation. If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to email me at missash03@gmail.com

Any donations, no matter how small, are greatly appreciated!

Social Vibe

May13

I recently decided to register at Social Vibe. I have known about it forever and I’ve checked it out a couple of times, but have never bothered to sign up, until now. If you aren’t familiar, it is a social media tool that connects people with brands, empowering them to engage with sponsors and share branded content with their social graph to benefit a cause of their choice. Individuals make a positive, measurable impact for the charity of their choice just by completing branded activities. In just over a year’s time, over $700,000 for over forty different non-profits has been raised. The SocialVibe community seems to be most popular among celebrities and influential bloggers. It proves to be a great tool that allows people to use their influence to make a positive impact.

If you haven’t already noticed, I have added a badge on my right side column. I will soon be adding badges on my social network pages as well. The charity I chose is Children’s Miracle Network, which is an organization that raises funds and awareness for children’s hospitals and foundations throughout the world.My sponsor is Operation Smile.

The cool thing about the badge is that every time someone views a page I have with the badge on it, whether it be here on my website, my myspace, or anywhere else I post it, I earn points for myself on SocialVibe which can be redeemed for a variety of different perks and money for my charity. So just by visiting my site, my readers are helping me out and helping my charity. Readers can also additionally help out by clicking on my badge and it will take you to a page where you can complete a task that earns me points and money for Children’s Miracle Network. And it’s all completely free. How cool is that?

If this sounds like something you’d like to get into yourself, feel free to sign up and post the link to your profile in the comments and I’ll help you raise money for your cause as well.

Megan Fox Wants to Make Schwarzenegger Cry

Apr25

In a recent Funny or Die video skit, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green have teamed up to poke fun and ridicule the budget cuts affecting the public school system in California. Which inadvertently means making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

What do you think about budget cuts in the education system?

Making Peace With “The Girls”

Oct17

It’s been a good while since I’ve been a dedicated reader of Seventeen Magazine, but I decided to pick up the October issue. In the health section, page 102, author and self esteem expert Jess Weiner takes a minute to make a note about an email she received from a young woman, as part of the Seventeen’s Body Peace Project, (which I love). The girl wrote in about how she happened to be watching an adult film with her boyfriend and his friends, and they kept ogling about how hot all the fake boobs on screen were, and she started to doubt that her own breast size is big enough to be attractive to her boyfriend. Jess went on to reply to the girl. ” Instead of feeling like your breasts exist solely for everyone else to approve of, it’s important to remember that they’re your breasts, and the only one who needs to think they’re the right size is you.” And in a PS. note she states, “Guys do pay attention to the size of your breasts, but I swear they like them at any size.”

I have found that statement to be very true. I have seen a lot of men slobbering over big, fake breasts, but that doesn’t mean they don’t like smaller ones too. Actually, most of the men I know that I have heard input from much rather prefer to be with a woman who has natural breasts, even if they are smaller in size, than a big breasted woman who’s had implants. And I actually know lots of men who are turned off by fake boobs as well. You are probably thinking, “Yeah, we know. Small boobs are good too. Love your boobs.” But actually, a lot of women are still struggling with issues about the size of their breasts. I personally see it all the time, on forums I post on and in real life: friends and acquaintances expressing unhappiness with their breasts and contemplating getting breast augmentation, but the truth is, most men are satisfied with breasts of any size. They just love boobs, period. And if there is such a jerk out there who tells you that you would be more attractive with bigger boobs, then he obviously could use a bigger brain.