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Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

Published September 29, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

This week marks the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s second studio album called Nevermind. Yes, you heard right. 20 years ago.

I was a teen in the late 90s. I didn’t even discover who Nirvana was until…1996 I think. I was kind of a sheltered kid, growing up listening mostly to pop and R&B music, so I had never heard of them until I turned on the radio that was playing Smells Like Teen Spirit. That song and the Nevermind album changed rock music and it changed my adolescence. More actually, it possibly was the thing that jumpstarted by adolescence.  I heard their songs on the radio. Loved it, had to have it. I went out and bought Nevermind and listened and fell in love. Not long after I bought the CD, I discovered it went missing from my CD collection. Curiously  I started searching the house for it and I found it underneath my mom’s car seat a few days  later. I took it back and confronted her about why she confiscated it.  She told me she didn’t like me listening to angry music by a guy who was a drug addict and suicide case. I couldn’t blame her, actually. I mean I was only like 13. I told her that I didn’t care about all that he did and how I just liked the sound of their music, which was true. She kinda nodded her head in slight understanding while I returned the CD to my collection.

You know a lot of people argue that Nirvana only became so popular because of Kurt’s tragedy. I don’t necessarily think this is true. I think this band still would have been legendary if he was still alive and they were still together. There was something different and unique about them, and to this day I can’t really think of any other band quite like them. This album still remains such a prominent staple of my teen years and I hate it to think of how crappy most of the popular rock bands of today are. When are we going to have another great band to change rock history? I’m still waiting.

What music album or song is most memorable to you from your past? 

What is home to me?

Published September 27, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

Yesterday’s topic on The Daily Post was this:

What does “home” mean to you? How would describe what it feels like to feel “at home”? It may be something specific about the physical details of where you’d like to live, or it could be more about how you feel when you are in the right place.

I found this topic particularly fitting for me right now, as I am about to move to another place I want to call home.

Having been through so many moves in my life, for reasons of all kind, reasons for good, bad, and the down right ugly… I have collected some specific thoughts and ideas as to what I consider a home.

To me, a home is a place of solace and peace.

A place where I feel free to do as I please.

A place where I approve of who enters or stays and any roommates have stable income and help financially with rent and bills so I won’t have to worry if we are going to make rent because someone else isn’t pulling their own weight.

Where any roommates are nothing but responsible, trustworthy friends that I can get along with and live with without many conflicts.

My home is easily kept clean.

My home is quiet most of the time.

A place that is safe from thieves, drug dealers, and people I don’t trust in general.

A place where my cat can run around if he pleases.

A place where when something breaks, I can call the landlord and they will come out and fix it in a reasonable time.

My home is free from noisy neighbors.

A place that is away from neighborhood crime, or safe enough to where I can walk down the street without having to worry about my safety.

A place where visitors respect our boundaries and don’t overstay their welcome, eat our food without permission, or dirty up our place without picking up after themselves before they leave.

A place where I have enough space for myself and my belongings.

A place where there aren’t so many people living with me that I feel like I am in their way or like they are in mine.

A place where I am neither treated like a child or have to act as a mother.

A place where I can come home to and know what to expect.

Those are probably the important ones.

What is your ideal type of home environment? 

Women are so hard on themselves

Published September 21, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

When it comes to their bodies, most women are extremely critical. It baffles me every time I see this. And what gets me is that usually these are women who are deemed as attractive by today’s standards. They are verbally ripping apart every little flaw with themselves that they see, and I often think they are imagining things because I never even see what they are talking about.

I remember about a year ago when I did the MAX calendar contest (wow, I can’t believe it’s been a year already), I was backstage with all of the rest of the calendar girls and we were getting ready to do our swimsuit competition. We were all prepping in the mirrors before getting called out to go on stage and every single girl was trashing her body. “I need to do something about this double chin.” “All I need is a boob job and I’ll be happy.” “I hate my thighs.”  They all seemed to take turns picking out their flaws. Yes,  these ladies were all doing it! I couldn’t believe it. Then it got quiet as a few of them looked at me. I was looking in the mirror but in the reflection I could see them looking at me waiting to hear what I had to complain about. I said, “You girls are all hot, stop it.” I heard one of them ask, “So you’re not worried about how you look out there?” I just shook my head no.  I felt almost out of place at that moment. Fortunate to make peace with myself but also felt sorry for them.

A lot of women obsess over their looks, in part, because they fear they won’t be accepted, by either males or some other part of society. But here’s one thing I have noticed that I know for sure, men aren’t seeing what you are freaking out about! They aren’t nearly as critical about the female form as women are themselves. How often do you hear a guy picking at a girl’s thigh dimples? Men just don’t care care that much. They care if a woman they like is fit enough to be healthy and takes care of herself. But if she is slightly overweight, has a little bit of cellulite, or something minor like that, he’s not going to care and that is if he even notices it at all. So there’s no need to keep the lights off all the time, ladies. If your man is with you, he already thinks you look good and he would rather see you with the lights on and when he does, he’s thinking about how sexy you are, not about that teeny bit of cellulite you might have. He doesn’t expect you to be flawless, so why keep expecting that out of yourself?

Setting Boundaries

Published September 4, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

I want to discuss something that has been pretty relevant to me through my life, and pretty much my entire life, and that is the importance of setting boundaries for yourself in your relationships. Now when I say relationships, I don’t just mean your boyfriend or girlfriend, but romantic relationships are included. What I mean by boundaries are things that you find acceptable and things you do not. Everyone has a line to be crossed somewhere, and it is always good to think about where you draw the line in any given circumstance, if you haven’t already. Most of you will notice that as you go through life, you will meet people that will push your limits, test you, and take advantage of you.   They will lie to you, ignore you when they know you need or want them for something. They will dodge your questions, and tell you “I don’t know” so you don’t ask anymore questions. They will try to involve you in things that you want no part of. They don’t necessarily do this on purpose either. Well a lot of times they probably do but many people won’t even realize that they are pushing the envelope with someone else, it’s just their natural personality coming out and it happens to inflict on the comfort level of another person. But here’s the thing,  you have to tell them when it happens. Just tell them. For example, if you and your spouse are looking for houses together and they try to convince you of buying a house that you know for a fact that you can’t afford and will send you into bankruptcy, don’t let them talk you into it! Stand your ground and tell them that no, you don’t agree. Now a lot of you that probably comes as second nature, but there’s people like me who find that harder to do.

But that’s just an example and I don’t mean that you shouldn’t think about certain situations when they come to you. If you have thought about it and you know that you aren’t comfortable with something, it’s your responsibility to communicate that with them. Don’t be an asshole about. Tell them firmly but with a smile. They will likely be disappointed with your disagreement or rejection, but they should shake it off pretty quickly. If they can’t, then that just shows how immature they are, and they are likely to feel like the ass they are behaving like. Whatever you do, don’t argue with them and let them talk you to down. Say your peace calmly and walk away. They can’t swing back at you for that without looking like a total douche. If they do, then you might want to reevaluate why you surround yourself with people that can’t simply respect your wishes. Truthfully, communicating things like this is something I still struggle with myself.

I have went many years without having clear boundaries because as I have talked about before, I have had a history of being a doormat. Doormats don’t have many boundaries, and if they do then they will usually let people pass through them, as I have done many, many regrettable times. So through time, I have set boundaries for myself on a lot of different things and they are pretty set in stone, but I still have trouble with letting people talk me into shit anyway. And something weird has been happening lately. I can suddenly so easily tell when I am being fed a line of bullshit. It’s a very strong intuition in my gut. And sometimes the people trying to BS me are just bad at it and the details don’t match up. I mean, I am nobody’s fool. But for some reason, this keeps happening. People keep trying to attempt to take me for an idiot. My problem might be that I am not firm enough with the ones who I am at risk for being taken advantage of by. They know I will fall to their persuasion. I guess I just have to drag the bitch in me out from time to time until they learn to back off of me for good.  Y/N?

So what do you think? Have you thought about what your boundaries are? And how do you deal with those who try to push your limits? 

Movie Review: Something Borrowed

Published September 3, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

Warning: Spoiler alert


I recently saw the movie called Something Borrowed and decided to do a little review, of sorts, and open up discussion. The movie stars Kate Hudson (as Darcy) and Ginnifer Goodwin (as Rachel) and are best friends who grew up together. Rachel is a lawyer who met her crush, Dex (played by Colin Egglesfield) in law school, but she assumes someone as hunky as him would never go for a girl like her so she doesn’t pursue him romantically. Rachel introduces Dex to her best friend Darcy, an outgoing go getter, who wastes no time in snagging Dex for herself. Rachel hides that their budding romance bothers her since she still has feelings for Dex. A few years later, Darcy and Dex become engaged and Rachel is her maid of honor.  Darcy throws Rachel a surprise 30th birthday party where Rachel blurts out to Dex in private that she used to have a thing for him in law school. Dex is stunned by this and he then, after a few drinks, kisses Rachel in a taxi they share after the party, and then he goes home with her that night. They wake up and realize what they have done and try to forget it happened, but soon they both realize that they can’t, they both have strong feelings for each other and they continue to spend time alone together when Darcy isn’t around. Rachel tells her good friend Ethan (played by John Krasinski) about everything and he tries to convince Rachel that she deserves to be happy and that she will regret everything if she doesn’t do anything and keeps allowing herself to be strung along by Dex. Meanwhile Dex is very conflicted and avoids  making a final decision between Rachel and Darcy until Rachel gives him an ultimatum.

I wouldn’t call it your typical romantic comedy because this movie travels to a different place than most of it’s counterparts. Most movies and even real life situations, with a story line of  ”girl falls for a taken man”, will usually have that girl’s feelings being shamed, invalidated, and chalked up to being just a fantasy, due to the fact that her crush is unavailable. Then, in a typical story, she is convinced that it wasn’t meant to be so she forces herself to move on, the end. But I have always felt that whole ideas as kind of  BS.  Am I the only one who feels like it isn’t always that easy? This movie portrays a different spin on things. It offers the idea that sometimes people end up with the wrong person and it also explores the idea of  ”what could have been” before it’s entirely too late. To me, that sounds like a more realistic situation, or at least just as real as anything else, but for some reason we don’t often see that kind of twist on things portrayed in the media, and it makes me wonder why.

Aside from that, I felt it was a very nice romantic comedy, or “chick flick” if you will. I can’t deny I am a sucker for chick flicks, and this one left me hooked and even surprised towards the end because I couldn’t think of a comparable movie that I have seen. If you haven’t seen it and you enjoy this type of movie then I highly suggest checking it out.

If you have seen it, what did you think of the movie and the story that it offers?

Also, is it me or is Dex the 2nd coming of Tom Cruise?

TLC’s Big Sexy

Published September 1, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

There’s a new series on TLC called Bid Sexy.  The show features 5 plus sized women living in New York City and working in different areas of the fashion industry. The show premiered this past Tuesday.

I haven’t seen a full episode yet but the clips I have seen make it seem pretty good. I am in favor of it as long as they don’t get all, “Real women have curves!” and all that.

Your thoughts on the show?

Tumblr Is Not A Blog

Published August 30, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

Everywhere I go I see people referring to their blogs. Now when I think of a blog, I think of well planned out and constructed ideas written out, usually with a word count of more than 8, and usually with an option for commentary and discussion. I have to admit that I am often disappointed when I hover over their link and discover that it is a tumblr account. Giving them the benefit of a doubt, I click the link and I see the expected: Hardly any text, and if there is any it will be quotes from their favorite celeb, song lyrics, youtube  links, animated gifs, photography and other graphics. To me this is not what I consider a blog. These are micro-blogs if anything, because they often take less than 2 minutes to compose. And most of it is just reblogged from other blogs. Actually when you think about it, how different is most tumblr entries than your average twitter account? Not that much different. Ok now I know there are exceptions. I may have seen a couple of tumblr pages that were wordy like a real blog, but these are few and far between. For a long time, I didn’t really “get” tumblr. Maybe I had a reason for finding it pointless because why make an account there and posts photos, links, and internet trends there when I can just do it here, which is what I sometimes do, but not every day.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to hate on tumblr users. Do your thing, it’s cool. I’m just saying that I don’t consider it real blogging. Then again, maybe I am just being picky because I am an aspiring writer and more about words. And I get that not everyone is internet savvy. I myself once had a xanga page, livejournal, freewebs, angelfire, and all those little beginner sites that sweeped the internet. This is most likely the same type of idea.

What are your thoughts on tumblr?

How do you deal with haters?

Published August 23, 2011 by Ashley Pariseau

Everyone has people who criticizes them or just flat out is a hater. You know, no matter how you try to keep peace in a situation, they will always do something to try to bring you down and make you look bad. How do you deal with their comments? Do you address it and stand up for yourself? Or is there a point in which you just ignore it? This can mean both in person or online.

So how do you deal with haters?

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