I have always been a fan of poetry. I started writing poems when I was little, not long after we moved to Indiana and got settled in to a house outside of Albany, so  I was 6 or 7. I wrote poetry off and on pretty much ever since. I rarely showed my work to people though because I always felt like my stuff was unfinished and could be improved and I didn’t want to show it to anyone unless I felt it was the best that it could be, but I undoubtedly always had a knack for writing and a love and appreciation for the art of it.

However poetry is not as popular as it once was, or at least it doesn’t seem like it is. The only poetry I ever see these days exists in the form of song lyrics, and even in that the quality of poetry in lyrics seems to be dwindling, especially in mainstream music. The lyrics of most popular songs these days rivals the quality of stuff I wrote when I was 10, so what does that tell you?

I don’t know, maybe I am just not looking in the right places. Maybe there is still a community of poetry fans out there. If so, where are they?

Do you enjoy reading or writing poetry? Do you think poetry is dead? 

In my opinion, if they want the general public to become more interested in the organization and annual show, they should put these contestant and winners into the mainstream and really showcase what these women do with their reign all year round. As soon as these women win their local title, they are out there doing events, appearances, promoting a platform and I think the organization should focus more on the women and their accomplishments rather than just what’s going on in the show that one night only. The public doesn’t understand how Miss America is relevant in today’s society, and that’s because they don’t actually see it and that is because the organization doesn’t put much effort into showing anything other than the live broadcast of the new winner. There’s SO much that goes on after the winner is crowned, let’s see it!

On that note, congrats to Miss Wisconsin, Laura Kaeppeler!

What did you think of the show last night?

This is just a quick note to let readers know that I am up for taking suggestions and requests for post ideas. It can be anything, a crazy news story, a topic you want me to cover, something you want to do my thoughts on…anything! Just send me an email at AshleyBPariseau@gmail.com and I’ll take it into consideration, thanks!

Ok so here is a list of some of my most favorite ones, and most of these happen to be remixes of already popular songs (many are even better than the original in my opinion).

If you have any suggestions of dubstep tracks, post them!

More recently however, while I was at the Indy ScreamPark back in October, I saw a girl hooping with a lighted cosmic (LED) hoop, and then she started hooping with torches lit around them. She wasn’t just hooping like we all did when we were kids. She was incorporating all these dance steps and tricks into the mix and I hadn’t really seen anything it much before. I thought it was so cool. I knew at that point that was something that looked fun and I wanted to try it. That night, it was dark so I didn’t immediately recognize who was hooping, but I later discovered that the girl was an old friend/co-worker of mine from Pizza King. Her name is Laura. I hadn’t seen or talked to her in a couple years, so I looked her up on facebook and found out that she makes custom day hoops and sells them. I asked her about pricing and then did some research and found out that the hoops used for dancing are different than the kids toys sold a local stores. Dancing and performing hoops are usually a little bit larger and more weighted than toy hula hoops, so I decided to ask her to make one in my choice colors pink and black. I was able to meet with her yesterday and here is my first hoop that I will be using to practice with.

Thanks Laura! It will probably take me a few months to learn anything, and I hate that because I want to know how  to do it all now. Apparently, hoop dancing is quickly emerging into the mainstream field of performance entertainment as well as a form of exercising. But before I get into all that, I probably just need to learn a thing or two first. So far today I spent about a half an hour getting comfortable with waist hooping and trying to walk while hooping. It appears my garage will have to be my practice space, since it’s January and all. Laura told me about this place that is a music venue and bar where they have hoopers get together and learn and practice on Monday nights, so I plan on getting into some of that later.

Laura doing her thing.

Browsing youtube, I came across this girl whose style and performance I really like.

Has anyone else had experience with hooping? Feel free to share.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Fired a handgun for the first time
Appeared in a calendar
Signed an autograph

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I’ve never been big on resolutions. I didn’t make any last year and I probably won’t this year. I guess I make resolutions on a regular basis, so to make one for New Years just seems silly.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Not quite sure yet. No big plans at the moment.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Luckily no.

5. What countries did you visit?
I did not venture out of the US this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More spending money and better opportunity to travel.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No date in particular

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Winning Miss Indiana International

9. What was your biggest failure?
Haven’t yet landed a better job.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just a cold or two

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Clothes

12. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, bills, and food

13. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Sierra Leone

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Poetry writing

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Waste time by being distracted

16. What was your favorite TV program?
America’s Next Top Model, although after the horrible All Star cycle, that might be dwindling.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t really hate anyone. I have stronger dislike for certain people and qualities in humankind though.

18. What was the best book you read?
Sadly, I haven’t read any books this year. Well I guess that is one thing to do for 2012. Any suggestions?

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Dubstep

20. What was your favorite film of this year?
Not sure.

21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 27 and I visited my mom down near Bloomington.

22. What kept you sane?
My boyfriend and my best friend.

23. Who did you miss?
My family

24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned.
Everyone gets older, but not everyone grows up.

25. What does 2012 hold for me?
Preparing for Miss International and promoting my platform.
Hopefully getting a new job, lots of fun, and new opportunities.

I don’t think anyone can argue that my blog isn’t versatile. I wrote about topic of all kinds, from serious, to light, to controversial, to writing, to personal, inspirational, and everything in between. I have wondered on and off about whether or not I should narrow down the topics a little bit and make things a little bit more specific and focused, but I realized there’s no way I can do that since there is just too much I like to write about. This blog is a means for me of self expression for me, and there are many different facades to who I am, so one day I might post about something like domestic violence and the next day I might write about going shopping. That’s just me.

Now with this award, there comes a few requirements.

*Nominate 15 fellow bloggers
Each of these blogs are just awesome and you should check them out.

MyInnerChick
WildAtHeart
AbsolutelyNarcissism
AccordingToAshley
EatTheDamnCake
HappyBrittany
Random Ruminations
TheBloggess
TiffsBloggy
ThePervocracy
ForLoveofRetail
Brute Reason
RachelaHanson
ThisLittleLark
TheGypsies

* Inform the bloggers of their nominations.
I will be doing so right after this post is published.

* Share 7 random things about yourself.
- I have taken the MBTI test and my results are either INTJ or INTP
- I have pretty bad eye sight. I started wearing glasses at age 7. My power is currently -8.50 in both eyes.
- When I was little I used to idolize Punky Brewster.
- I grew up on a small farm in the middle of corn fields. We had cows.
- I take naps almost daily.
- I can crack my knuckles, toes, back, and knee joints.
- I almost never wear regular clothes at home unless I am planning to go somewhere. As soon as I hit to door, the clothes come off and my pjs come on.

* Thank the blogger who nominated you.
Thanks again to Old Dog New Tits for the nomination, and thanks for reading!

* Add the Versatile Blog Award logo on your blog post.

Hoping everyone is having a great holiday!

Love, Ashley

I am the oldest of my sisters, and just like most first born children, there was always this expectation of me to set an example. I was supposed to do everything first and be the most brave, responsible, and nurturing. I think as a child, I held up to that standard pretty well. I got up first to get ready for school. I started waking up to my own alarm at around age 8 pr 9. Then I would get my sister up and fix her breakfast. I made sure she got ready in time, helped her in school and with her homework. I told her all about what it was like to be in my grade, told her what to expect and gave her advice. I didn’t really have anyone to give me the detailed advice I gave her. I had to experience it first. Being the first born out of them was something I identified with.

But the funny thing was, that even though I had always been seen as the “leader of the pack” among my sisters, it wasn’t that way otherwise. I was never the top student in class, or the lead singer in the choir,  or the lead part in the play. And I wasn’t the leader among my groups of friends either. I didn’t know why. I was always out shined by people with stronger personalities and abilities. I didn’t mind it. I didn’t always want all that pressure and extra attention. I was ok with sitting back and observing others being the leader. I was actually kind of relieved that I got to relax and let someone else do the work, I didn’t want to be a leader anymore and I started to identify more with being a follower. That characteristic became more prominent the older I got.

Then as a teenager, I became pretty interested in the zodiac. I would read all about my sign, Leo. There it was again. The Leo is of course the lion. And what is a lion? A leader. Nearly every single description of people born under the Leo sign was supposed to be a “natural born leader” as well as “dramatic, dominant, independent,  loves the spotlight and attention.” Anything that had to do with being alpha.  I always thought, “Well that doesn’t describe me at all!” I began wondering if God messed up in creating me under that sign.

However, it seems that as I go through life I am still expected to be in some kind of a leadership position, and I usually try to avoid it. How am I supposed to be a leader when I don’t even like to walk in front of other people? When I worked at Pizza King a few years ago, I heard from a co-worker that it was in talks of offering me a supervisor position because one of the main ones was leaving, which many of my co-workers at the time sought after, but it scared me more than anything. I wondered if I could handle it or like it. The extra pay and hours sounded nice, but I still wasn’t sure if it was going to be worth what all I knew they had to deal with. Well it turned out the girl didn’t leave after all so I was never officially offered the position, and I was actually relieved.  At my job now, there are team leaders who basically train new people, and every year, I think, they appoint new people who have been working there for a while and they trust  to become a trainer, and I had a feeling for a while that they might ask me to be one, and I tried to show my lack of interest in that. I just didn’t want to have to worry about showing anyone the ropes and wondering if they were understanding what I was doing and saying. I didn’t want to worry about taking the responsibility over the work efficiency of someone else or anyone blaming me if a trainee screws up or slacks around. All I want to do is go to work and worry about my job only, and then leave.

I wonder if my lack of interest in taking lead on things has to do with my hang up about decision making. A great deal of being a leader is about making decisions, and as I have talked about before, I am not particularly good at making decisions, or at least I am not confident about them when I face choices. Just the other day, I was sitting here with my boyfriend and we were trying to figure out what to eat. We knew we wanted pizza, but it was a matter of getting a carry out pizza or buying one from the grocery store. We were listing our options and I exclaimed, “Ugh I don’t know! Too many choices!”  He stated, “Actually there’s only 2.” I jokingly rebuffed, “That’s still too many,” as I smiled and then somehow not long after that we just finally went with getting one from the grocery store. I realized how silly it was that I had trouble making a decision about pizza, and when there were only two choices, but I was making it seem like a much bigger deal.

Something recently has got me thinking about this for some reason. With it being the holidays and all, I am always bummed because I miss the days when my immediate family were together. Now everyone has spread all over the US and is doing their own thing with little means or incentive for getting together. Maybe it bothers them too, but I feel this instinct that it’s my job to try to rally everyone up again and draw us closer together again, literally and figuratively. There are some issues between a couple of my family members, and I have always tried to encourage a makeup between them, I  have been told that there’s nothing I can do. But still, I feel an obligation. I feel like, if I tried, I can have influence to help things between them, and ultimately all of us. But to do that, I am going to have to take the lead, and for this, I am not scared. This isn’t just something I feel like I have to do, but it’s something I want to do. Okay, so I understand I can’t make any of them do anything or make up, but I am willing to try to help encourage better understanding and communication, and then they can make the decisions on their own about how they want to get along.

This is the first time I feel like I actually want to take the lead in something. I think this and other issues than I am passionate about, I am not as reluctant to be a leader so maybe I am starting to break out of the shell from being a cowardly lion. I still need to work on my decision making, so I am going to start with small things, build my confidence in those things and move up to bigger decisions. Hopefully I will one day successfully become the lioness I was born to be.

Christmas 2010

Monster Jam

At the MAX Bowling Event

At the radio station

Calendar photo

Went to visit my mom for a week down by Bloomington, and dug up some old photos.

Summer fun!

Indy Screampark

All of these can be found on my Flickr album!

Unfortunately, I rarely hear people muster up the gull to that kind of thinking. I don’t know why. It’s not going to kill them! Maybe it’s denial. Maybe it’s ego. Maybe it’s something else. But whatever it is, it has to stop. People around you don’t want to be blamed for your mistake. They don’t want you to take your anger out on them. They don’t want you to pull their attitudes and moods down with your own. They don’t want to feel screwed over when you do stupid things, and they aren’t always going to be there to help bail you out after they repeatedly try to warn you about things.

(Note that when I say YOU, I am talking in general, not to someone specific).

You think your life sucks? Well fine. Did it ever occur to you to stop and think about what *you* could have done to contribute to it and what *you* can do to maybe fix it? You have a lot more power to change your life than what you are willing to accept. I for one am tired of people expecting happiness and good fortune to just fall in their laps and never take responsibility for their own unhappiness. You won’t ever be happy if you think you are nothing but a victim of life’s bad karma. There is no magical fairy that is going to come swoop down and give you the life you think you so rightfully deserve.

No one is holding you back but yourself!
No one is keeping you where you are but yourself!
No one can pull you out of your misery but yourself!

You have to stop and realize the bad choices you are making (and I’m sure there are quite a few if you are the average person), and fix those choices and turn it around to your advantage. I think I have touched on a similar idea to this before, and again, I’m not saying that bad things don’t happen to good people once in a while. They do of course, but not with everything.

Own up to your mistakes. Learn from them and move on. Just something to think about.